Humans are wired to seek out patterns. My pattern is to be a bookworm. When my world went on lock down due to COVID-19, well, I found ways to cope.
I’ve touched on the benefits that cleaning out books provided my mental health, and I still agree with what I said. I was enjoying my parred-down shelves.
Apparently, all it took to upend that was some forced societal isolation.
COVID-19 Sara and regular Sara have different desires.
There are countless articles detailing the ways that this pandemic is causing nostalgia. Psychology Today wrote a particularly good one.
I’m not going to say that’s exactly what’s happening with me, but it makes sense that I might be reaching for old habits to soothe myself and pretend nothing is amiss.
I went on a book buying binge the likes of which I haven’t done since….well, probably ever. I went on blind dates with books (one of the few times I don’t mind surprises) courtesy of etsy. My horizons expanded greatly. I tried online independent sellers for the first time. I tried different genres and remembered how much I enjoyed sci-fi.
I’m not going to say the exact number of books I acquired, but it was enough that I became horrified at myself.
Also, I lost count.
Part of why I became so annoyed with myself boiled down to my constant buying without proper reading output. I was stressed and trying to make myself feel better, but ended up making things worse.
My reading groove has experienced ebbs and flows since everything started. Some weeks, I can’t focus. Some weeks, I read 2-3 books back to back. And sometimes, I don’t read at all.
I’m trying to not be unkind to myself. There are much worse ways to cope than book buying, or doodling on everything, or writing poetry in journals kept by the bed.
Luckily, I am currently in an upswing in my reading, so I’m back to zipping through books.
I have a box full of finished volumes to donate.
And I put a hold on my buying just in the nick of time.
You see, my birthday just passed, and my wonderful loved ones supplied me with a neat baker’s dozen of titles to add to my overflowing shelves.